Gay Marriage in New England

This summer, I will travel home to Vermont for another wedding on the shores of Lake Bomoseen, the largest lake entirely within the state's borders. Two of my cousins were married on this lake with beautiful outdoor summertime ceremonies. Both weddings inspired me as gatherings of friends and families celebrated love and commitment. This July, I will see my childhood friend get married on this lake... a lake where I spent so many summer days in the water, so many nights staring at the stars, and a long summer working as a park ranger at the state park.

When the Vermont State Legislature overrode Gov. Jim Douglas' veto of same-sex marriage law a few weeks ago, I thought of Lake Bomoseen. Always a proud Vermonter, I am elated to know that I could someday marry my love on the shores of Lake Bomoseen... regardless of that person's gender.

Today, New Hampshire became the fourth New England state to legalize same-sex marriage. I love my life in California, but the couples and families I know in New England -- families like mine -- now have rights that we in California lack. Sadly, New Hampshire killed a gender non-discrimination bill, meaning that gays can marry but gender non-conforming folks remain unprotected. I would rather have gender protections than marriage. Let's hope that once we win full marriage equality, those activists mobilized by gay marriage shift their energy and resources to address the many other inequalities impacting our communities.

UPDATE 5/11/09: Add Maine to the list! Out of the four states I've lived in (Vermont, Massachusetts, Maine, and California), all but one have marriage equality. Come on, California, let's overturn Prop 8!

Something's Bubbling Up Inside of Me

So sings Department of Eagles, whose album has become my most recent soundtrack for life. (Thanks to Brian for yet another musical introduction.) I'm sipping on revelation and stewing in reflection.

On Thursday, I attended the rally/jumbotron screening of the opening arguments over repealing Prop 8 before the California Supreme Court. Inspired by the No Dumb Questions StoryHub project, I brought a video camera and interviewed a young man about his opposition to gay marriage. As he shared his perspective, I was struck by the power of documentary film making. Rather than engaging, I was able to just listen and observe, keeping my own beliefs to myself for once. If we are able to actually hear one another in our differing views, perhaps we can find a bit of common ground.

Today, I sat outside a favorite cafe in my neighborhood, reading bell hooks and drafting a press release on an upcoming COLAGE Bay Area Panel. Spending much of my time in cafes affords rich opportunities for eavesdropping. A small group of college students were reading to each other about lesbian motherhood, then continued their discussion of transnational identity, family, and queerness. As someone who tends to engage more than she observes, I am discovering the value of just listening.

I discovered this quote by Mimi Nguyen that resonated tonight:

It's impossible, after all, to imagine that "queer" only skews gender and sexuality, and not race or class or nation, as if we might line up our social categories like cans in a cupboard, as if they weren't just intersecting but mutually constituitive.

I am forever grateful for the ways that life continues to illuminate these intersections.

Happy Gay Marriage Day from California!

Joyfully, this is the third state I've called home that has legalized same-sex unions (2 out of 3 have marriage equality). Today was an incredible day to be in San Francisco. You may recognize COLAGE's own Beth Teper celebrating this morning, pictured above as seen in the NY Times.

The court's ruling was strongly worded:

“In view of the substance and significance of the fundamental constitutional right to form a family relationship,” Chief Justice George wrote, “the California Constitution properly must be interpreted to guarantee this basic civil right to all Californians, whether gay or heterosexual, and to same-sex couples as well as to opposite-sex couples.”

Yeah... it's about equal rights.

This ruling does not signal 'full equality' in California as some have said today, but rather marriage equality - one institution. There is still plenty of inequality in this state and throughout the world. Marriage equality solves some very real problems for many people - including thousands of families in the country's largest state. It will not cure many of the inequalities that LGBT people (and all people) of this state experience, but it does send a loud message that people should be allowed to marry, regardless of their sexual orientation. Let us remember this as we celebrate.

It's a great day to be gay in San Francisco.